What is it?
The Father Wound is most often a wound of absence -emotional as well as physical, as such it is harder to recognize than others wounds.
When Dad doesn’t embrace, encourage, guide, and protect him, a boy grows up thinking, “Dad doesn’t love me. I must not be worth much. He does not feel like a real man, confident that he belongs in the world, with both a destiny and power to deal with the world.
In the souls of men, the weapon of destruction is shame. He feels tremendous shame and anger at being abandoned in his deepest need.
A mother is vital in a child’s life. But a son can only learn to be a man from a man. God bless all those single mothers out there doing the best that they can. I have great esteem for their hard and dictated work. But a son needs a father. Proverbs 17:6……”The glory of a son is his father”
What effect does the father wound have on the daughter?
The moment a father holds his infant daughter for the first time, a special bond is formed that will shape and mold them both from that point forward. As the first significant man in his daughter’s life, he plays a unique and potent role in developing her self-image. In later years, how she perceives herself as friend, lover, wife, mother, and colleague, is in large measure a result of the love and acceptance she saw reflected in her father’s eyes as a child.
Do You Have a Father Wound? Every daughter knows how important Daddy is. And when dads disappoint you, you can be profoundly affected for the rest of your lives. Whether your dad neglected you, abused you, or left you, the result is a wound that desperately needs healing.
The family of origin always has a tremendous effect upon how we gain our sense of identity and how and who we choice as a life partner.
Women deal not only with their father wound but that in the men in their lives.
How Does It Show Itself
- What happens when we have emotional pain? Anger and Pain
- How do deal with this pain? Extreme behaviors, obsessions and addictions
- Rebellion against authority. Father was our authority – what happened?
- An inner sense of lostness, or incompleteness
- Not trusting yourself
- A sense of Shame
What Do We Need From Our Fathers?
- TIME TOGETHER
- LIFE SKILLS
- DIRECTION WITH SOLID “WHY” ANSWERS
- CONVICTIONS THROUGH MODELING. we need to see leadership and integrity from our Dad.
- TO SEE DAD’S HEART
- TO HEAR “I LOVE YOU AND I AM HAPPY THAT YOU ARE MY SON
How Do We Heal?
- Talking with another man in “scared space” that will hear us. Women need this but are more emotional intelligent then men. They need a male mentor or male therapists to re-father with a positive experience.
- Grieve our loss and heal the hole in the soul
- Overcome our shame. What is the nature of shame?